Shawshank Redemption

Shawshank Redemption is one of the few movies that appeals and elevates you to another plane. This movie can at best be described as poignant with excellent performances by Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman.
The movie is about a man wrongly accused for the murder of his wife and sentenced for life. The hope he has of being free someday and the manner in which he achieves it is extraordinary. Among other movies that rely on special effects and exaggerated emotions to captivate the audience, Shawshank Redemption stands tall, depending entirely on the performances of the artistes and the taut screenplay. No wonder it is high on the list as one of the best movies of all time. For more details and some interesting dialogues visit the link above. What follows is the tag-line for the movie.

Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free.

It's not easy

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me

I'm more than a bird
I'm more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It's not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I'll never see

It may sound absurd
But don't be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed
But won't you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It's not easy to be me

Up, up and away
Away from me
It's all right
You can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy
Or anything

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me

It's not easy to be me

This song (Superman by five for Fighting) has been playing in my head for the past week or so. Though this song is written from the Clark Kent point of view, I feel I could relate to some of the lines - marked in bold. Sometimes I feel it really is not easy to be me. By the way, who am I?!

Nemo

Another aspect of myself I found this morning. I tend to underestimate myself very seriously, so much so that I forget what I am capable of. I become a nobody and feel like a blob gaping at others.
One silver lining to this thing is that I am able to function properly once I am reminded that I can do what I can. This again relates to my previous observation of me being a bot. A bot that forgets the functions it has been programmed to perform and operates normally upon receiving an external interrupt.
I still hope to become a human… someday.

Deus ex machina??

Of late I have been wondering if I am a machine that imitates humans biologically but is not so emotionally. This thought sometimes takes me over for hours that I have to convince myself that I am still human.
I am trying to find the time when I was last human, when I last emoted. I want to do this because I was nicknamed arnold. Some gave the reason for the name as being due to the size of my biceps. But one guy told me that i had a very wooden countenance. This actually got me thinking and I realized that I was living an unemotional life, no feelings for anything or anybody.
I hope I can change this... someday and become human.

Odi et Amo

I hate and I love. That is what the title means. I believe this summarises my behaviour towards anything. Hate and Love. Brings out a sense of irony not unlike publishing your innermost thoughts on the web.
You cannot classify anything as what you hate and what you love. You can hate something today that you loved yesterday and you will again tomorrow. So if you think you will love something always, try not to think bad about it for it will lead to hatred. And if you think you will hate somehting always, give it a chance to be loved.